The Green Pile

The Green Pile is a limited-run thirteen-strip Doom created by Silverwyvern and hosted on Doomworld. It is a along the lines of ' and ' starring two hapless hellspawn, Hiss and Scratch, who are drafted into the Hell Army. The strip focuses on their misadventures during.

Scratch
Initially the main focus of the strip, Scratch is an extremely reluctant imp who is terrified of space marines and is unable to properly form a fireball attack - his always come out as cubes rather than spheres, causing all the other recruits to cruelly call him "Cubey McCube Face." He is easily traumatized, and constantly either finds himself in strange predicaments or causes accidental injuries to others due to his clumsy nature. Scratch meets Hiss in the strip's second installment and they become friends, despite Scratch's off-hand question to Hiss as to whether or not he has been litter trained.

Hiss
Hiss is a small, young, and ridiculously cute cacodemon who constantly has grand ideas as solutions to the problems created by Scratch or himself which usually only lead to the pair getting into even more trouble. While he is capable of shooting normal fireballs, he must do so with practiced constraint, as his first attempt during training blew up most of the grounds in a nuclear-sized blast. This caused him to be nicknamed "CherryBomb," a name he states that he does not mind because of "fervent denial." Hiss is considerably more optimistic and enthusiastic than Scratch, often doing things highly uncharacteristic of a demon such as celebrating Christmas, but usually adapts his friend's fears and concerns due to his empathy.

Drill Sergeant
Though unnamed, Hiss and Scratch's drill sergeant is a revenant tasked with the job of training new recruits. Hiss and Scratch constantly test his patience, though he often tolerates their mishaps with an unusual amount of understanding for an army drill sergeant. After Hiss and Scratch go AWOL, however, he does state that the only reason he does not crush them is due to having signed a contract stating he will not injure recruits.

Bull Demon Pup
As a training exercise designed to impart both responsibility and a sense of abject hopelessness into new recruits, Hiss and Scratch are assigned a demon pup which they are instructed to raise (in the world of The Green Pile, "bull demons" are of much lower intelligence than the other hellspawn and are treated as livestock, living in a stable like horses or cattle). Hiss instantly falls in love with the pup, despite its penchant for covering entire areas in waste matter in mere minutes. Mysteriously disappearing one morning, leading Hiss and Scratch to frantically search for it and, failing, go AWOL due to fear of being gibbed in punishment, it is eventually found that the bull demon pup has matured into a spectre. While Hiss is confident that he can raise it, Scratch, fearing otherwise, returns the pup to the drill instructor. This causes a rift in Hiss and Scratch's friendship which is unfortunately not resolved before the end of the comic strip.

The Cyberdemon
The cyberdemon appears on the military base on Scratch's first day and, seeing Scratch seemingly lost, menacingly asks him where he is supposed to be and demands that he get there immediately. This frightens Scratch, who runs off to hide behind a building where, as a result, he initially meets Hiss.

Mancubus
The mancubus is a cook at Ed's Human Barbecue, a restaurant selected by Scratch due to advertisements seen on TV. The cook ends up traumatizing Hiss and Scratch by gibbing a marine right in front of them.

Nurse
The nurse in the base's unit is an eldery cacodemon with liver spots. She ends up seeing Hiss and Scratch on a daily basis since, due to their constant self-inflicted injuries, they are eventually assigned to permanently quarter there.

Seeing-Eye Lost Soul
After a paper airplane tossed by Scratch pokes Hiss in the eye, he has to wear a temporary eye patch. On account of cacodemons having only one eye, this renders Hiss blind. The MASH nurse assigns him a seeing-eye lost soul which is meant to guide Hiss around via a leash. When Hiss asks the lost soul to take him to Scratch, however, the lost soul charges at full speed toward Scratch, who becomes tangled in the leash as well. Since lost souls only stop moving when they hit something, the soul continues to screech through the military base until it smashes face-first into a brick wall, further injuring both Hiss and Scratch.

Sergeant Horn
Sergeant Horn is a baron of Hell who acts as a recruiter for the Hell Army, ensuring that all eligible hellspawn report to registration as required. When meeting Scratch, he figures that he will have to go about his job in the "kicking and screaming" way, and seemingly not waiting for a response, grabs and carries off Scratch to the military base.

Installments
The strip ran in a total of thirteen installments, posted on an irregular schedule. There is no clear indication that the story had reached an end by the final strip, as Silverwyvern left the Doom community quietly shortly after it was released.

Episode 1
Sergeant Horn catches Scratch, who is late for registration. He carries him off without waiting for a response.

Episode 2
Sergeant Horn leaves Scratch with the drill sergeant, who gets him signed up and uniformed. Scratch cannot find the training grounds, however, leading to an encounter with the angry cyberdemon, who towers over Scratch to such a degree that he is frightened into running behind a nearby building, where he first meets Hiss.

Episode 3
The drill sergeant is teaching the hellspawn recruits how to throw or spit fireballs, which he refers to as a "thing of beauty" and a "precise science." Hiss spits a nuclear fireball which scorches himself, the drill sergeant, and obliterates the practice target marines. The drill sergeant yells at him and he flees in terror. Scratch then tries his best to throw a fireball, but instead throws a flaming cube, leading the drill sergeant to suggest he just go home and practice.

Episode 4
Hiss and Scratch are discussing the nicknames they have been given as a result of their fireball mishaps when the subject shifts to marines. Hiss off-handedly mentions that he has heard that marines can now jump (a fourth-wall-breaking reference to the relatively recent addition of jumping to multiple source ports), which terrifies both him and Scratch. Becoming immobilized with fear, they board up the only window of their house and cower in terror, going AWOL.

Episode 5
Having been diagnosed with fear of marines by the nurse, the drill sergeant assigns Hiss and Scratch to bull demon manure duty to take their minds off it. After cleaning the heaping stalls for hours, the pens are finally sparkling clean. When a bull demon suddenly enters and, despite Scratch's warnings, leaves another pile of manure behind, Scratch chases down the demon and hits it over the head with his shovel. This has no effect on the demon other than enraging it however, and it chases Scratch up a tree.

Episode 6
Still trapped in the tree with the bull demon sleeping below, Scratch desperately sends for help by writing a note and then folding it into a paper airplane. Tossing it in a random direction, it eventually by chance floats up to Hiss, who turns around just in time to have it poke him in the eye. Back in the MASH, the nurse gives him an eye patch and assigns him a seeing-eye lost soul. Due to being dumb, tough, on fire, and having a strange love for walls, the lost soul ends up injuring both Hiss and Scratch further by careening across the base with both tangled in its leash. After this, the two are assigned to permanently quarter in the MASH due to their constant injuries.

Episode 7
Scratch optimistically announces that he feels like a "new imp today," after which he is promptly blasted in the chest by a shotgun and falls over dead. Hiss, horrified, spots a marine and shouts for help, but none seems to arrive. He sees a large panic button nearby that instructs "press in case of marines," but before he can reach it with his tongue, a bag is suddenly thrown over him and the marine is seen to be carrying him away. Hiss's horns cause the bag to burst, however, and he angrily confronts the marine for dropping him on the ground. Panicked, the marine punches Hiss and sends him flying directly into the red button, which unleashes an arch-vile. The arch-vile toasts the marine in one deadly blast, and then nonchalantly ambles over to Scratch, resurrecting him. Hiss says, "That was awesome, let's push it again!!!"

Episode 8
In the only full-color episode of The Green Pile, Hiss and Scratch have finally been given a leave and have gone on vacation to a nukage pool, where the goo is not nearly as corrosive as usual. A seagull suddenly lands on the shore nearby and, not knowing what it is, Scratch surmises that it must be an enemy spy and fantasizes the awards and accolades that will be showered on them if they capture it. Hiss joins in the fantasy, imagining a female cacodemon begging to spawn children with him. As they try to sneak up on the bird, however, it spots them and trumpets an angry cry, frightening the two hellspawn back onto a rock in the middle of the pool. Their fantasies remain unrealized.

Episode 9
It is Christmas. Scratch is sleeping in the MASH when Hiss sneaks up on him, shouting "Wake up, it's Christmas!" Scratch angrily complains that Christmas is a human holiday that demons do not celebrate. Hiss is undeterred, however, and has hung up their boxers as stockings and made a macabre Christmas tree ornamented with bones and gibs. Scratch finally relents, as long as Hiss agrees to deem the holiday "Doomsmas" instead.

Episode 10
Scratch is bored and wants to do something, but Hiss is occupied playing with LEGOs. Scratch is unable to figure out how Hiss can move and put together the blocks, and Hiss declines to explain. After threatening to kick down Hiss's LEGO castle, he agrees to come along to a restaurant. Scratch chooses "Ed's Human Barbecue," where the two decide to order the famous "Ultra Rib Rack," where diners get to pick their own marine. The mancubus cook unceremoniously gibs a caged marine chosen by Scratch, showering both hellspawn with blood and gibs. Hiss and Scratch take the bag of ribs back to the MASH, but are too traumatized to eat. Hiss remarks that he is going to choose where to eat next time.

Episode 11
The drill sergeant announces he is presenting the recruits with a new challenge that will cause them to beg for death. He drops a bull demon pup out of the bag he is holding, which Hiss falls in love with and cuddles, angering the sergeant. Hiss and Scratch are naturally partnered together and determine their first task should be litter training the pup. They are not very successful and the area is covered in waste. They finally settle for sitting the pup in a bucket, which quickly fills with excrement. Step two is to train the pup to kill. Hiss does not believe the cute pup would even be interested in such a thing, though he is proven wrong when the demon latches onto his face.

Episode 12
Hiss is in a panic searching for the bull demon pup, which has disappeared much to Scratch's anguish, which can be heard all across the base as he shouts. Afraid that they will be gibbed for losing the pup, he and Hiss search for it but, failing to find it before night fall, settle on Hiss's absurd plan to head out east and live new lives as "Earl and Carlos." They have to turn in quickly due to the lost souls being "thick" like swarms of mosquitoes. Scratch is bitten while sleeping however, which causes him to awaken in a fright. It turns out to be the bull demon pup, who had matured unexpectedly into a spectre, which is "glowing with much clearness." Scratch does not know how, but figures that this is somehow Hiss's fault.

Episode 13
Scratch has to explain to the drill sergeant why he and Hiss went AWOL. The sergeant wants to crush them both, but states that he is under contract to not do so. He demands that Scratch return the bull demon pup the next day. Hiss however has fallen in love with it, reading it bed time stories like a child. He disagrees with Scratch that they cannot raise the pup successfully, but Scratch is undeterred after the pup poops on his foot. The next day he returns the pup, and Hiss spends all his time in bed sobbing. Scratch tries to cheer him up with a bull demon pup plush doll, but Hiss angrily toasts it with a fireball. Scratch is amazed that Hiss fired a perfect fireball for once, but Hiss then scorches Scratch's face with another. Scratch remarks that he guesses they are no longer on speaking terms.