• • Did you know** that Club Doom is where the demons like to party?

• • Did you know** that a glow-in-the-dark medikit can reduce humanoids to a pulp?

• • Did you know** that satan makes you immune to all damage?

• • Did you know** that donnytrump gives you money?

• • Did you know** that you're Doomguy?

• • Did you know** that Derwin is a bloody nuisance?

• • Did you know** that you can fight green flemoids in a laboratory of breakfast cereals?

• • Did you know** that punching turkeys can net you a high score?

• • Did you know** that John Romero built the level Perfect Hatred in six hours?

• • Did you know** that Hissy hoggers are having their hogging tracked?

• • Did you know** that Bill Gates once blasted a zombie with a shotgun?

• • Did you know** that a properly-drawn doomguy resembles the Mona Lisa?

• • Did you know** that the cheat code IDKFA will take away your weapons?

• • Did you know** that the Arch-vile can be extinguished with a fire extinguisher?

• • Did you know** that Lost Souls are forgetful?